“To Train Up A Child, Train Yourself!”
Jarrod M. Jacobs
The book of Proverbs contains words of wisdom for all walks of life. Perhaps it is best known for the words of wisdom to parents and children. The family is the cornerstone of any society, and it is best for society when families are intact and abide by the word of God. Proverbs encourages this with reminders and admonitions to parents and children. In this study, let us examine Proverbs 22:6 in detail and apply it to ourselves. Proverbs 22:6 states: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Upon closer examination, Proverbs 22:6 reveals that this verse is not primarily directed at children, but at parents. For a child to grow up knowing the “way he should go,” parents play a crucial role in shaping their development. Children cannot raise themselves. Solomon writes, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Prov. 29:15). Hence, parents must be prepared to fulfill their duty as the primary teachers and trainers of their young ones.
The need for instruction and teaching children accurately is repeated in the New Testament. Let us read what the Ephesian fathers were told to do: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Again, we see emphasis placed upon the responsibility parents have for their children.
What Am I To Teach My Child?
No child comes with a set of instructions. However, a set of instructions does exist to help in the training and teaching of our children; it is the Bible! The Bible will provide all the instructions necessary for leading a child (or an adult) from earth to Heaven. God’s “divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness” (II Pet. 1:3). The Scriptures provide for these needs (II Tim. 3:16-17). “What am I to teach my child?” Let the Bible answer this question! A parent needs to teach his child ….
God Is! This is the most fundamental area of our study. In a society that wishes to push God aside, we need to train up our children with the understanding that God is! We cannot read four words in the Bible without reading about God (Gen. 1:1). From this point, and throughout every page of Scripture, we see evidence of God. We can look in creation and see God’s handiwork (Ps. 19:1). Our children need to realize that they answer to a power higher than any other (Isa. 40)! He is the one who holds our breath in His hands (Dan. 5:23b). He is eternal (Ex. 3:14; Ps. 90:2), He is holy (Ps. 111:9; Isa. 6:3), and He loves us (Jn. 3:16; Rom. 5:8).
We Have An Enemy In Satan. In contrast to God, who loves us, there is an enemy who hates us! Our children need to be taught that Satan is our “adversary” and goes about as a “roaring lion … seeking whom he may devour” (I Pet. 5:8). They need to be taught that he is a murderer from the beginning, and the father of lies (Jn. 8:44). Therefore, he does not love us. He is deceitful and tries constantly to tempt man to sin and lead him away from God, who loves him. This has been true since the beginning (Gen. 3:1-6). Even though our children start life innocent (Ezek. 18:20; Matt. 18:3), it is not long before Satan tries to appeal to them (as he appeals to all) through the lusts of the flesh and eyes and the pride of life (I Jn. 2:15-17). The reason he does this is in an attempt to get them to surrender to their lusts, and be tempted, so that they might sin before God and ultimately be lost in sin (Jas. 1:14-15; Rom. 6:23). Parents, make sure and teach your children that Satan is their enemy (I Pet. 5:8)!
Our Sins Will Condemn Us. Sin is not a joke or a game. Sins condemn man to an eternity in Hell. The apostle Paul wrote, “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). Therefore, all those who have sinned are subject to condemnation if the problem is not fixed. Our children need to be taught that sin will condemn. It will keep us out of Heaven if we are not forgiven (I Cor. 6:9-10; Gal. 5:19-21; Rev. 21:8).
There Is A Remedy For Sin. How great it is to be able to teach our children that though sin exists, and every one of us sins at times, that God has provided a remedy for sin. This remedy is to be found in His Son, Jesus Christ! When Jesus came into this world, died upon the cross of Calvary, and resurrected the third day (I Cor. 15:1-3), He made it possible for man to be forgiven of sins (I Tim. 1:15). In fact, Jesus declared to Zacchaeus, “The Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost” (Lk. 19:10). Therefore, let our children be taught that there is a remedy for sin; and the remedy is found in Christ and no other!
I Must Accept God’s Plan For Salvation. When we understand that the remedy for sin exists, the next question must be, “How is it possible that I can obtain this forgiveness?” Our children need to be taught that there is a solution to this problem. It is possible to obtain forgiveness when we believe in Christ as the Son of God. Jesus said, “If ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins” (Jn. 8:24). Therefore, we need to believe that He is the Son of God. Based upon that faith, it motivates us to repent of our sins. To repent means we turn away from our sins, so we can live a life that is pleasing to Christ. Our Lord said it this way: “Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish” (Lk. 13:3). This is how serious repentance is! Further, we must be willing to confess our faith in Christ. In so doing, we confess our faith in Christ as the Son of God, like Peter and the Ethiopian eunuch did (Matt. 16:16; Acts 8:37). Based upon this confession, one can be baptized for the remission of sins (Mk. 16:16; Acts 2:38). The apostle Peter wrote to Christians, reminding them, “...baptism doth also now save us” (I Pet. 3:21). If this is what the Bible teaches, then we need to be teaching our children to respect it, because through following God’s plan for salvation, we can be made free from sin (Rom. 6:16-18; Col. 2:12-13)!
There Is Only One Church. In a world of religious confusion, the sooner we can teach our children about the one church that is found in the Bible, the better. When we read the Scriptures, we read of only one church, not thousands. This church, or called out body of people (I Pet. 2:9), is composed of Christians who have been added by God (Acts 2:47). Christ promised this church in Matthew 16:18. This church was the one spoken of as being in existence in Acts 2. It is the church of (belonging to) Christ (Rom. 16:16). The Lord’s church does not belong to a man, nor does it wear a man’s name. Let us train our children in such a way that they do not want to be associated with a man’s work, but instead want to be associated with God’s work and be part of God’s body, the church (Col. 1:18, 24). It is vital, for this church will one day be presented to Christ as a bride for her husband, and enter into Heaven forever (Eph. 5:27; I Cor. 15:24).
Just As We Must Obey Parents, So We Also Must Obey God. Just as we expect children to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1-3), so also our children need to be trained to see the importance of obeying God (Rev. 22:14). In doing so, they will lead blessed lives.
While the above is not an “exclusive list,” as parents, our responsibility is to train our children in the way they are supposed to go, so that when they are old, they will still be following that way, which will lead them to Heaven.
What If I, As A Parent, Do Not Know These Things?
The answer to this question is found in the title of our study. We cannot teach what we do not know. Therefore, to “train up a child in the way he should go,” we must first train ourselves!
How do we train ourselves? We do this by using the same book we use to train our children—the Bible. Therefore, let us take the initiative to read and learn the truth for ourselves so that we can teach it to our children. Take down the Bible from the shelf. Read it, study it, and obey it. When your children see you doing this, it provides a model example of what they need to do as well. Do not just tell them to read the Bible and obey its precepts; do it yourself. In teaching in this way, we are even more likely to keep our children faithful to God and lead them in a way that will bring them to Heaven one day. Truly, we will then be able to say with Solomon: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6)!